It's been a good three months since I posted. I'm slacking.
I'm probably bored, or miserable or can't sleep. It's usually one of the three. I don't really know which one to pick; I mean, picking isn't compulsory, right?
I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore; I'm not really fussed because regardless of who does or doesn't read it, it's still pretty therapeutic? to write. I think that's the right word, but I know what I mean, on that basis, maybe it is best of nobody reads this.
My life is somewhat disintegrating beneath my feet, that sounds kinda melodramatic - I think that was the desired intention.
I'm going to be honest, I have taken more than the recomended dosage of my pain meds, and a few more. Apologies for any typos, or irrelevant stuff or whatever. And I guess if anybody does read this, that can be my perfect excuse for anything silly I write. Win. I think I am punctuating too often. Oh well.
So, life, disintegration, melodrama. Yaddayadda.
I can't help but feel like I've been left behind, y'know. Like, everyone else has brilliant plans after (their) graduation this summer; jobs, further education, whatever. I'm moving back home. With my mum. And I'm ten times more cynical since last living there; she's totally going to kill me. I'm totally going to kill her. It's going to be awful. I have no job prospects. I have nothing planned. I'm possibly not even graduating; Heaven help me if my mother discovers this fact. Death will be more imminent than initially thought.
Like, what went wrong? And when?
Okay, that's a silly set of questions but still. When did everything get this wrong so quickly?
It's already been as good as it got, and I missed it.